Remember me? It's been a while! I'm not quite ready to make a return to the vlogging world just yet, but for now I thought I'd return to you in writing.
I'm not going to sugarcoat this, life has been tough the past couple months. It feels that in every area of my life things have just been breaking down. Things are yet to be fixed completely. Some of these things are totally out of my control so who knows if they'll ever be fixed. However, I've decided I've had enough of being miserable. I'm taking the reigns back on the things I can control, and the others? Well, I'm not going to lie and say they don't matter, but what I will say is I'm no longer going to let them control me.
In a few weeks time it'll be the new year. The time where people draw a line under things that have gone before, and go forward into a new chapter of their lives. My thinking is this - why wait? If changing these things will make you a happier, better person, then why wait?! It's time to make those changes now, and that is exactly what I'm doing. I'm going to have a good last few weeks of 2014 and go forward into 2015 as the happy, positive person I once was in the hope of this continuing.
Of course, I make this sound easy in words. My anxiety won't let any of it be easy. I feel like my anxiety is some kind of evil mind-controlling monster who pushes harder when I fight back. At that moment, I can give in like I have done for so long, letting it take over and crush me. Or I can continue to fight, and maybe one day I'll win.
All my love,