This week I made a video (check that out at the bottom of this page, or click here ;)) on my inability to say no. I have always struggled with this. I’m a people pleaser. I don’t like to disappoint, and I’ll go out of my way to make people happy.
This selfless nature, whilst on the surface seems a positive quality, in actuality is not all it’s cracked up to be. The truth of it all is that you cannot please everyone. Whatever you do, someone is going to have to be disadvantaged – and why should that always be you?
Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t take anyone but yourself into consideration, but I am saying that maybe a selfish element isn’t so bad. As long as it’s not too dominant in your personality of course!
You are just as important as the next person. I don’t care if they have more money than you, or if they have a higher social status. You are the same. You matter just as much. You deserve to be getting what you want out of life. If someone asks to borrow money for something insignificant, but you’ve been looking forward to that donut you’re going to buy on the way home all day? You can say no! Don’t be rude about it of course, but putting yourself first is not a bad thing. How are you expected to get anywhere in life if you don’t look out for yourself sometimes?
Saying all this – I still have a long way to go. I’d lend you my donut money, and I probably wouldn’t ask for it back.
There does need to be a balance between selfishness and selflessness within people. When that balance is disturbed either way, people get disappointed. Everyone deserves to be happy.
Lots of love,
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