Highlights.

Hello again you lovely lot!

How is your year going? I can’t believe it’s almost Easter already! It seems the older you become, hours tick by like minutes. Things you did a week ago, seem like they were just yesterday. Months go by in what feels like a matter of weeks.  There’s just not enough time anymore.  I just wish I could pause it and stop for a second to catch my breath. However, you’ve got to keep up with it, appreciating as you go.

Anyway, I thought I’d check in with you all as it’s been a couple of months since my last post and I’ve had some things on my mind. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about comparison. I think it’s human nature to compare yourself to others, and in 2016 where you put your life online, it’s become that much easier to compare. Now I often hear people say that comparing yourself to what you see online is like comparing yourself to a highlights reel. That’s true. Not many people put their hardships online, and they don’t always show you everything they’ve put into getting their end product. Instead they put on their ‘best bits’ for people to see and commend. Of course it’s good to be happy for the success of others and to be proud of them for their achievements – but often you can’t help but compare yourself in a negative way. You worry that you’re not doing as well, or your life isn’t going the way it “should”. It’s so easy to forget that there is always more to the story, and the ‘behind the scenes’ shots may not be as glamorous.

Now in my experience at the present moment, I’m seeing couples move in together, get engaged, have children. I’m seeing people get their dream jobs. I’m seeing people travelling. I’m seeing them enjoying life. Yes – I’m comparing myself.  I’m thinking that I’m not doing this life thing correctly because everyone seems to have it together but me. However, when I think back to the times I felt more secure – I remember taking it for granted. I found other things to stress about, other parts of my life to negatively compare to others. It just seems to me that maybe, no matter how well your life goes perhaps you’ll always seek inadequacy. Perhaps you’ll never quite see how well you are doing in certain areas because in others you’re comparing yourself to people who are doing better.

Right now, I’m having a bit of a wobble. I’m comparing myself and I can feel that tug trying to pull me back to the place I was in last year. It is in this moment that I can do one of two things. I can let it consume me again, or I can keep going. I can look for my own highlights that I’m just not seeing because I’m blinded by the highlights of others in different areas of life. And I can stay focused on the behind the scenes work I need to put in in those areas I feel inadequate. Of course, I’m going to do the latter. Though I want to be quite transparent here – it’s not that easy. I spent all of yesterday laying down, crying my heart out and I’m sure I’ll have moments that I return to that. That’s okay. It’s always okay to let yourself feel sadness or any negative emotion you damn want. So long as you don’t let it consume you. Life is going to keep going, and it’s ticking by so fast. So feel the sadness, then take a breath, and keep working on creating your own highlights and appreciating the ones that are already there.

My 2016 Goals Update

Learn to Drive: I passed my theory test first time! I'm so grateful to have that out of the way and I'm so proud of myself for the hard work I put into that. I'm still having lessons and I have to say - I don't feel as confident here. I just don't seem to have a natural skill here and I'm finding it tough. I haven't killed anyone yet, or hurt the car in anyway - but my confidence isn't there. I'm hoping this comes with time and I'm going to continue to do my best.

Have 3 Memorable Moments: Nothing big to report on just yet. Though I am still keeping a note of all the little things that are making me smile this year. One of those being seeing my cousin's beautiful little baby again ^_^.

Read 20 Books: I really slowed down on this one. I'm struggling with the book I'm on at the minute and I've just not been making the time for books like I was at the beginning of the year. I think perhaps I'll begin a new book and try to make time at the end of the day for reading again. It really does help to calm my mind.

Find a Full Time Teaching Position: I've just finished at a school I was doing some long-term supply for and I feel like this experience will really help me in finding a full time position. I'm keeping an eye out for any posts for September - but nothing more to report here really.

Thanks for swinging by my blog, you adorable little sugar muffin. 

I hope some of my ramblings have made a little sense, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject of comparison. 

Keep working hard, you're doing better than you realise,

Kristi. 

<3

Post-Uni Blues & Hope For The Future.

Hello again,
It has been over a year since I've written a blog post here, and that thought seems so crazy for me! The past year has been a bit of a whirlwind. Uppy-downy-all over the placey. It honestly feels for me that it was just yesterday I was writing blogs and recording vlogs and loving every moment of my life. 2014 really was just a truly wonderful year for me. I was very happy throughout the majority of it. However, things changed. I'll touch on it briefly, but I want this post to be a positive one, and hopefully that is how it comes across.

Towards the end of 2014 I lost a lot. I was in a really bad place within myself, I had a lot of stress with university and on top of that I had some outside influences affecting a lot of the good left in my life. Going forward into 2015, I took all that with me. Now 2015 had some little pockets of joy - I graduated, I visited Amsterdam, I got to move back to see my dog every day - but it was also one of the hardest years. Those last few months at university were hard work. The combination of the toughest placement I'd been on with my dissertation and job applications meant that I just had no time to enjoy living there. It was just work, stress, work, stress, until finally, I graduated. The same day I graduated, I moved home. Moving home was nice at first, but it quickly became something I hated. I realised I have no friends left here, I instead spent every day by myself. I had no job to go to in September, and spent all my time stressing about what I could do. The rest of the year went by in another blur. The first part of the year was a busy blur, the second half was different. It was a blur of days spent in bed unable to move. A blur of crying and telling my loved ones how much I didn't want to be here. Telling them I didn't feel good enough. Anxiety. Panic attacks. Fear. Loneliness. Whenever I'd think I'd reached rock bottom, something else would happen and I'd fall even further.

I guess leaving university was the first time in my life where things were unsure. I was born. I went to school. I went to sixth form. I went to university. Then I didn't manage to secure the job I'd worked for and for the first time in my life I was lost. I didn't know what I was doing or where I was going or if I was going to be okay. I don't think I'm the only one to feel that after university.

Towards the end of 2015 I decided that I could not go on like this anymore. I was hurting myself, and I'm sure I was upsetting and worrying those who care about me. So I forced myself to spend the new year with a friend to get myself off to a good start, and I made a list of resolutions. Now I know people often write resolutions and give up on them after the first month (if they even make it that far!) , but these resolutions are designed to get my life back on track and so far, it's going really well.

2016 Resolutions

- Learn to drive - I've been terrified of this for as long as I can remember! As of right now, I've had 2 lessons and they're going really well!
- Have three memorable moments - I've been writing down my little happy moments each month to reflect on, but with this goal I actually wanted to push myself to do some bigger things. I don't want my 2016 to go by in a blur like last year. I want to be able to say "Oh yes! 2016! That was the year I....". I will be going to see Busted later this year so I'll count that as one.
- Read 20 books - Normally, I read a lot. It relaxes me. I enjoy exploring new worlds and finding new characters to relate to. Last year, not including course material and children's books, I read five books. Most of which I read in that final month, when I began to realise I need to pull my life together. So far this year I've read four books. It's really helping me and I'd say I'm on track.
- Find a full time teaching position - At the minute, I do teach. However, it is not full time, it is not progressing me and I am not enjoying it. I need to get my NQT year done and I would like it if this year I could fix this. This is the scariest goal I feel as it a) has the most impact and b) is the most out of my control. I can apply for jobs and go to interview and do my very best, just as I did before, but I cannot make this happen all by myself. I have hope though.

So 2016 is my year of change. My year of self improvement. Really, my year of being selfish. I hate that word. "Selfish". However, I have realised just how important self care is, and I have really neglected that over the past year. So yes, this year I'm putting me first.

If my whole year works out as successfully as this first month has gone - I'll be one happy lady again. Here's hoping! Let me know if you have any new years resolutions and how they're going! :)

Wishing you all the very best 2016, and encouraging you all to make this year your very best year,
Kristi.
<3

Fighting Back.

Hello Littl'uns!

Remember me? It's been a while! I'm not quite ready to make a return to the vlogging world just yet, but for now I thought I'd return to you in writing.

I'm not going to sugarcoat this, life has been tough the past couple months. It feels that in every area of my life things have just been breaking down. Things are yet to be fixed completely. Some of these things are totally out of my control so who knows if they'll ever be fixed. However, I've decided I've had enough of being miserable. I'm taking the reigns back on the things I can control, and the others? Well, I'm not going to lie and say they don't matter, but what I will say is I'm no longer going to let them control me.

In a few weeks time it'll be the new year. The time where people draw a line under things that have gone before, and go forward into a new chapter of their lives. My thinking is this - why wait? If changing these things will make you a happier, better person, then why wait?! It's time to make those changes now, and that is exactly what I'm doing. I'm going to have a good last few weeks of 2014 and go forward into 2015 as the happy, positive person I once was in the hope of this continuing.

Of course, I make this sound easy in words. My anxiety won't let any of it be easy. I feel like my anxiety is some kind of evil mind-controlling monster who pushes harder when I fight back. At that moment, I can give in like I have done for so long, letting it take over and crush me. Or I can continue to fight, and maybe one day I'll win.

All my love,
Kristi
<3

The Final Stretch.

Hello Littl'uns!

I thought I'd write a little updatey post for you today. So this week I returned to university for my fourth and final year. For those of you who don't know already, I'm studying to be a teacher. I love it! It's hard work, and very demanding, but super rewarding. We only have two main modules this year which will require us to attend university lectures and they are learning beyond the classroom, and recent developments. I'm actually quite excited for both of them as they're going to be very useful for my career.

The next big module in university is of course... CURRICULUM INNOVATION. AH. This is, technically speaking, my dissertation. I've already decided what I'd like to write about and begun my reading over summer which I feel has put me in a good place. My proposal is due in a months time and I already have 900 words so I'm not doing too bad there. Basically what we have to do is choose an issue within primary teaching, and develop a resource to help with that issue (as well as an 8000 word dissertation of course..). So I have chosen to write about shy children and how to help develop their confidence. I'll be creating a teacher's guide, complete with advice and activities to help more reserved children reach their full potential. In my reading so far I have found a massive correlation between childhood shyness and later issues with social anxiety and language, so of course this issue is very close to my heart, and it is something I am very passionate about.

The final big module, which has no effect on my grading but is arguably more important, is my placement. We have ten weeks of block placement to complete this year, with at LEAST ten extra days to do in school. My first day as Miss Sherwood will be in two weeks time and right now, I have no idea of which school or year group I'll be teaching. Up until now, I've taught year 1, nursery and year 5 as well as having a couple days in other year groups and in a couple of SEN contexts. So you could say I've had a pretty broad experience so far, and I'm happy to teach any year group within the primary range at this point. I'm eager to find out where I'll be placed, and after my outstanding grading as Miss Sherwood teaching year 5 last year, I am hopeful for a great outcome on this placement too.

The next class I'll teach after this will be my own! Just one more year, 10 weeks of placement, 3 assignments, 1 dissertation, 2 exams (my first of which is next week, wish me luck! :)) and a bunch of scary interviews to go.

Lots of love, 

Kristi.

<3

July/August Favourites!

Hello Littl’uns!
I have seriously slacked with my blog over Summer, and I’d like to get back into it as I head into my fourth year at university. So without further ado, lets kick things off with my July/August favourites!

Beauty.

Tanya Burr L&N, Lipgloss in Afternoon Tea, £6.99
Tanya burr L&N, Nail Polish in Mini Marshmallows, £5.99
Revolution, Eyeshadow Palette in Iconic 3,  £4.

When Tanya Burr released her line of beauty I was so excited to try it! I bought a lipgloss in the shade “Afternoon Tea” and a Nail Polish in the colour “Mini Marshmallows”. They’re both fairly affordable, great packaging and excellent products. As an added bonus the lipgloss just smells absolutely amazing. It’s like sweets! I never get sick of it.
In July I heard about the Revolution range from Superdrug. I’m a big bargain hunter and with prices to rival MUA I was super excited about this. I got the Iconic 3 palette because I’d heard it was an excellent dupe for the Naked 3 – and it absolutely is! Colour wise, they match almost exactly, and the formulation is pretty good too. Can’t go wrong with this many shades for £4!
I’ve also been in the market for a new deodorant for a while as I had just kind of got bored with the ones I had been using. I tried Mitchum on an online recommendation and can absolutely say that I will not be switching any time soon. It’s a little pricier than I would usually go on deodorant (Usually £2.99, but I did get it on offer for £2), but what can I say – it keeps me fresh all day! I love it! I especially like the powder fresh scented one.

Tv/Film.
Okay so over Summer I basically spent my life watching TV shows, old ones, new ones, all sorts! I particularly loved Orange is the New Black. It’s so funny, yet somehow manages to deal with some very real issues. I love how the women in it are so varied, black, white, Hispanic, bigger, smaller – it’s really refreshing. I also saw How to Train Your Dragon 2 at the cinema, which was fantastic. Heart warming, funny, sad in parts, overall great movie.
*There are some things in there that are more of a …grown up sort of humour. A child wouldn’t notice or understand, but Paul and I would have spat out our drinks, had we been drinking. Totally hilarious.

Music.
I usually put YouTube originals/covers here, however honestly I haven't listened to many these past couple months that have really caught my attention. I've been spending most my time listening to Disney songs! I will leave you with one recommendation though, and that's my Dad's favourite song.
Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb: clickyyy.

Food.

I had some super cute Disney cupcakes for my birthday which were just adorable! I told everyone the could have one if they could name the princess. My Uncle picked up one with Ariel on and repeatedly guessed Ursula...

Random.
First things first - SUMMER IN THE CITY! Oh my lordy it was so amazing. I loved it so hard and can't wait for next year. The people, the panels, the atmosphere - fantastic! Also, it was my birthday in July! Woohoo! I had a lovely spa day and a cute family party ^_^. Another year older. The grand old 21. Lets make this year fantastic shall we? *Clink* :)

Lots of love,
Kristi.
p.s. check out my latest video here:

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Summer in the City 2014.

So this last weekend I attended Summer in the City for the first time, and if you're looking for a quick summary: despite the expensive food (£5 for nachos! What?!), it was amazing. If you want a lengthier review, please read on :).

Let me start off by saying the organisers did a great job this year. The layout of things was excellent, and the ticketing system for the signings was a great idea. I didn't personally line up for any of the signings, so I wasn't there to know the disappoint of a line being cut off. Though, what would the alternative be? Wait for 5 hours to be told you can't meet the person you want to meet? I don't know about you but I'd much rather be able to do something better than standing around with that time. I can't believe how disgusting a couple of people acted at queues being cut off to be honest, and to those people who acted in that way I have to say this: If you view SitC as a giant meet and greet, you're going to be disappointed. Especially if you're only going to meet one person. There is so much more to SitC, enjoy it! My only recommendation to the organisers would be to maybe ticket the panel queues in the same way they did the signings so people don't waste their time. Saturday queues for panels were not handled so well at all, with people not knowing which side to queue up at and forming two queues, both of which were being let in, resulting in people who had waited longer than others not being able to see that panel. Though this was rectified by Sunday. Excellently handled there SitC! Regardless, I would still recommend ticketing.

Okay so lets talk about these panels shall we! I went to two each day, so lets discuss chronologically. The first panel I attended was the comedy panel, which as expected, was very funny. I don't do comedy in particular on my channel, but the panel was enjoyable nonetheless with some great advice and an insight into bigger comedy channels on YouTube. The second panel I went to was SprinkeofGlitter's 'GlitterTime' which was more of a QnA. May I just say I think I love her more now? In a room packed to the brim she made it feel personal and the community spirit was really alive. She was charming, funny and sweet. The next panel I went to was the one I had wanted to attend the most, and that was the mental health panel. The people on that panel spoke so well, I found myself nodding alone to everything they were saying. Tomska was in particularly relatable, he obviously found it difficult to be talking about such serious things, but when he did what he said was just so perfect. Gary C also raised some excellent points, I wanted to clap after so many of his sentences. The final panel I attended was the small YouTuber panel. This was definitely a highlight of the weekend! It felt like everyone in that room was not just a community but friends. The atmosphere was just amazing, with us all hugging each other, laughing together, joking together. It was so inspiring, and really quite helpful to those just starting out their channels. Jazza came in right at the end gave a very emotional speech, letting us know that SitC is here for us.

By far the best part of the weekend was the people. No, not Dan and Phil, who I am sure are lovely, if you can get past the 13 year old fan girls, but my friends. I got to meet so many people from all over the world who I have been talking to for various amounts of time which was incredible. Friendships were strengthened, and new friendships made. I cannot wait to see all of these people again.

Here's my video of the weekend:

Let me know about your SitC experience if you attended! I'd love to hear about it :).
Lots of love,
Kristi.
<3

June Favourites!

Hello Littl’uns!
Well it seems rather late to be going over my June favourites, with it being over half way into July. Yet, here they are!
Beauty.

Avon. Clearskin. Pore Penetrating Black Mineral Mask. £5

I bought this facemask from Avon and absolutely love it! It works so well, really getting into your pores and clearing them out. It doesn’t take long to dry and leaves your face lovely and soft. I did actually get it on offer for £2.50 - I've seen Avon do this offer a few times so as it is a small tube I'd recommend waiting till it's on offer, but it is worth buying!

Tv/Film.
I’ve seen two movies this month, which I just loved. The first being The Fault in Our Stars which you can read my review about here and the second being Maleficent. Honestly, I think Maleficent is one of my new favourite movies of all time. The actors were well cast (especially Angelina!), the settings were beautiful and the effects were awesome. It kicks straight into the action and takes an unusual turn as it progresses. I would absolutely recommend it!

Music.
Here's two covers and three originals I've loved on YouTube this month!
Don't Know Me - Natalie Holmes: Clickyy.
Phantogram (Cover)  – Daniela Andrade: Clickyy.
Forever Love - Danna Richards and Avia Butler: Clickyy.
Not About Angels (Cover) - Jasmine Thompson: Clickyy.
Bubble - Abi Davis-Fletcher: Clickyy.

Food.

The suns coming out which means trips to the ice cream van are mandatory! And who can resist a Zzapp? Not me! :)

Random.

My Dad got a new puppy and I just love her to bits! She is such a little squishy! She’s a border collie and her name is Patch ^_^ <3

Lots of love,
Kristi.

p.s. check out my latest video here:

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TFIOS Review! (Spoiler free :))

So since I read the book two years ago, The Fault in Our Stars has been my favourite story. It had everything. It made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me feel inspired to really live. When I heard it was going to become a movie, I thought two things. My first thought was: “YES! I CAN’T WAIT! OMG HOW EXCITING!!!”. My second thought went more along the lines of: “How can a movie ever live up to this story”. I’ll tell you what, only one of those thoughts were correct, and that’s the former because this movie definitely lived up to the fantastic story it came from.

Let’s begin with the fantastic actors. I can’t fault a single performance. Every single casting choice was excellent. They portrayed their characters in the most realistic, believable way which really brought the story to life. I wasn’t seeing Shailene Woodley pretending to be Hazel up there, I was seeing Hazel. Whilst the entire cast was just incredible, I have to give a massive shoutout to Shailene and Ansel who played the two lead roles, because their portrayal of these characters who I, and so many others, hold so dear was just breathtaking.

The music choices were also just…absolutely spot on. Every piece enhanced the scenes in ways I cannot explain. To say the soundtrack to this movie was beautiful would almost be an insult, it is that much of an understatement. Do I wish a certain song by Meghan Tonjes could have been at least played in the credits because it would have fit perfectly? Yes. Nevertheless, the choices made were fantastic.

I think the best thing about the movie was just how close it was to the book. Yes things were condensed or left out in some places, but for the most part, it was all there. Most of my favourite quotes, word for word. I can’t tell you how much it meant to me to hear them.

I can’t say too much more without giving spoilers either about the story itself or about the way in which is was delivered on screen, but I will say this. Thank you. Thank you to John Green for writing something so tragic yet beautiful. It may have made cry for three hours after putting the book down, but that is just a testament to your wonderful writing. Thank you to Josh Boone the director of The Fault in Our Stars. Thank you for caring so much about the story as to not lose any of its essence.  And thank you to the cast, for bringing the story to life in the most excellent way.

Let me know if you've seen the movie and what you thought about it. And if you haven't seen it, then I definitely recommend you do!

If you haven't seen my reaction video, then you can see that here (don't worry it's also spoiler free!! :)):

Have a great weekend!

Lots of love,

Kristi.

<3

Days 20 to 28. #100HappyDays

Top row (l-r)

Day 20: Today was my very last session of extended mathematics! The picture on the left was taken on the way to it ^_^. On this journey, I found a fiver in my pocket I didn’t know was there – automatically knew the day would be great!

Day 21: It’s finally sunny enough in England to wear a dress out! I LOVE the sun and I LOVE dresses! :D

Day 22: I’ve been wanting a midi ring for ages. Today I picked up a pack of four from Primark for £1.50 (bargain!) – I adore them!

Middle row (l-r)

Day 23: I told myself I’d never play Minecraft. Today I broke that, and now I’m obsessed. But it’s so cute having a game Paul and I can curl up and play together 2 player ^_^.

Day 24: If there’s one thing that’s always made me happy, it’s the success of others. When that “other” just so happens to be the one man you care about the most, it just makes me even more happy. I’m so proud of this boy for all he has achieved today! :)

Day 25: When days are hectic, it’s just nice to kick back and relax with a lovely cuddle and your favourite man :).

Bottom Row (l-r)

Day 26: Today is deadline day! Three final hand ins and we’re ready for Summer to begin! :)

Day27: It'd be rude not to celebrate Summer with a pizza and a rockstar! I love this rockstar, it tastes like strawberry laces ^_^.

Day 28: I must have told so many people about this video now. It’s just SO funny. Check it out here.

To hear a little bit about this project, check out my post about it here.

Thanks for reading guys! Hope you have a fantastic week.

All my love,

Kristi.

<3 

May Favourites!

Hello Littl’uns!
It’s time to look over the things I’ve loved in May! I've had to take out the food category purely because there's been nothing new or exciting this month.
Beauty.

Primark. £1.50 for four.

I’m not sure whether this should go under the “beauty” category or not, but I’m going to put it here anyway. I bought four midirings from Primark – I love them! I’ve wanted a midiring for ages, and they are just so absolutely gorgeous. :)

Tv/Film.
Now this isn't really TV or film, however it is sort of related...sort of. Minecraft! I've been playing Minecraft with Paul on the PS3 this month and I'm so obsessed it's unreal! (Spoiler alert: Yesterday we defeated the EnderDragon - yay!)

Music.
Here's some YouTube covers and originals I've loved this month!
Over-Analytical - Ciel Tatoyan: Clickyy.
Candles - Natalie Langley: Clickyy.
Winter - Kina Grannis: Clickyy.
Sloppy Seconds (Cover) - OnMyWayToHogwarts: Clickyy.
Human (Cover) - Austin and Kurt Schneider: Clickyy.
I Fucking Love Science (cover) - Margot Vandersmissen: Clickyy.

Internet.
I've been loving the MrMr channel on YouTube. Brett and Ray are a married couple doing day in the life vlogs which are just absolutely excellent! I especially love their pro vs con series they do on their channel. Check this one out for a taster, it had me in stitches!


Random.

It was my cousin's wedding this month! It was such a lovely day. Warm and sunny. I danced all night long! ^_^ Here's a picture of me with my brother and his girlfriend at the wedding :). Can you tell my brother was forced into this? ;)

Lots of love,
Kristi.
<3


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Compliments.

Hello everyone!
So today I made a video on my inability to take compliments (which you can see at the end of this post ^_^).
I feel that for me this is a major personality flaw. Not only does it devalidate the opinion of the person giving the compliment, but it is unhealthy for me to not be able to accept that there is any good in me. So today I thought I’d compile a bit of a step by step to accepting a compliment to remind myself how it’s done.

Step 1
Say thank you. Compliments can be difficult for people to give, so it is nice to let that person know that it has not gone unnoticed and you appreciate it.

Step 2
Be specific. To really let the person know their compliment has been heard, respond to it directly. Maybe add in a  “I actually worked really hard on that” or a “I bought it last year” after the thanks. Obviously, don’t lie, but it’s nice to make the person giving the compliment feel like they’ve really got it right.

Step 3
Return the compliment. Not in a “Oh no, your hair is much nicer than mine!” way but in a “Thank you, I really appreciate that, your hair always looks lovely” way. This way not only are you being nice by complimenting another, you’re also shifting focus back off yourself if you’re feeling uncomfortable like I often do.

Step 4
Smile. Compliments are meant to make you feel good! You shouldn’t feel bad for feeling good. Smile and let your happiness show!

It sounds so simple right? Right!
It should be simple, and I am going to try my hardest to stick to it.

I hope you’re all having great days!
Lots of love,
Kristi.

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